no. are you hot by any chance?
reblog if the only part of the pokerap you remember is tentacool TENTACRUEL ae ro dact yl sloooowpoke
interior design by fs: bathroom where there are dozens of non-functional security cameras lining the walls and ceiling pointed directly at the toilet
I know my job is weird and fucked up. but you know whose job is way more fucked? the people at the hospital who put hats on dead babies. you would not believe the amount of dead babies we get that are wearing only a hat. what’s happening at the hospitals? can someone in the medical field tell me why we’re putting hats on dead babies? but no clothes?
also it is so rude if you follow me and are hot and I don’t know about that
like that is so rude
everyone post a selfie and tag me in it so I can look at u
this message is two years old I think but look I can make people happy sometimes
somebody asked me not too long ago what my “thing” was, as in, “what are you into; like what’s your thing?” and I thought it was such a ridiculous question at the time, and I didn’t know how to answer, so I didn’t, and just stared until he got the point. or maybe I said “my THING? what? I don’t know” or something like that. in any case, I responded like an asshole because that, as it turns out, is my “thing.”
so is cutting people off and pretending like they don’t exist. lots of times it’s unintentional, as in, I’ll stop initiating conversations or emails or texts to someone, then the other person will stop too. and we’ll stop hanging out, or whatever. and in those cases, I still care about the person, and pick back up right where I left off if we talk again, and if they ask about it I’ll say something like “of course I still love you and think about you all the time,” and it’s true. I’m not a bullshitter like that. but at the same time, what are they supposed to think? I can say that, but clearly I haven’t shown it.
then other times someone will just start to leave a bad taste in my mouth and then the cut off is intentional. and I pretend like the other person just simply doesn’t exist. I won’t bullshit them about how I feel either if I’m asked.
but how are people supposed to tell the difference? outwardly, unless someone approaches me about it, it looks exactly the same. I’m just not good at keeping regular contact with like more than 3-5 people. that’s another one of my “things.” and I’ve made efforts in the past to change it, and they’re always short-lived. not following through is another one of my “things.”
I had a dream recently about someone I was really good friends with the first couple months of college, then he started to pull some bullshit stuff (or what I thought was bullshit stuff at the time, but really wasn’t in retrospect), and I gradually cut him out of my life completely. and in the dream, I got up real close to his face, and said that I missed him, and that we should do something. that I’m not that way anymore, that I do think about him and love him. and he said there just wasn’t room in his life, and that it was too late.
now in real life, I don’t think about him like that. or at least not that strongly. clearly something subconsciously was tipped off.
anyways I don’t know what the point of this is, other than that I’m admittedly an asshole, can live with it most days, but it’s probably not appropriate for my life anymore. but at the same time, it’s often impossible for me to be inauthentic, and trying to change often doesn’t last. it’s just some thoughts that should probably be an email to somebody, but i can’t think of anyone’s specific thoughts id want to hear on it, so it would be a weird email to send. so instead I’ll just let it be an even weirder blog post.